Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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