We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
