im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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