she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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