You really coming over, don't trick.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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