playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
My feet surprised me
His nipple licking is glorious
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