I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
