i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
