I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
