That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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