break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize