Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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