You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Randomize
