so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
