she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize