The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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