apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
