Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
