Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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