you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
