hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
ttyl tear gas
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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