Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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