What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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