Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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