Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
farters have to be the big spoon...
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
