she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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