no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
