Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize