I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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