xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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