wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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