you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
