I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
