YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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