Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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