Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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