Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
