I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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