i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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