I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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