i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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