He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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