Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He passed out mid-signature
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
