i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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