That's intense
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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