i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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