i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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