yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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