He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
