Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.

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(407): View more from Florida

I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"

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(443): View more from Maryland

a queef is a wish your heart makes.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!

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(415): View more from California

Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".

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(974): View more from

You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.

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(256): View more from Alabama

Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?

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(317): View more from Indiana

Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.

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