I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
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he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
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I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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