I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
