she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
