Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize