I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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