It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize