and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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