So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
