rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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