I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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