we're blogging at a bar
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
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his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
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We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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