The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize